Skin and Sleuth share a second life’s passion: Baseball. ‘Captain Keynote’ was a slugging star at Indiana U., while the Famous Shamus won back-to-back Little League championships {and played on title teams till his mid-30s}. So the phrase “Pitchers and Catchers Report” is almost as enticing to their ears as “Jennifer Love Hewitt will finally go topless in ….” And, since this week is the official start of Spring Training for all major league teams, we’ve stepped up to the plate with some sexy celebs playing ball.

Mr. Skin is a lifelong Chicago White Sox fanatic, so let’s begin with his hometown team—whose pitching staff could use the repertoire of English actress MINNIE DRIVER after she threw a perfect strike to fellow pitcher John Danks before the South Siders beat the Tigers 6-4 on June 3, 2011. Having “practiced” with crazed catcher A.J. Pierzynski—wonder if he tried to slip her a ‘high hard one’?—Minnie gushed, “I love baseball!” She had “found a great affinity for Chicago when filming Return to Me” there in 2000 and showed her loyalty by wearing skintight white pants…which Driver dispensed with entirely as one of Mr. Wroe’s Virgins at age 23!

Chicago’s North Side will no doubt demand ‘equal time’ during this election year, and with a self (love) starter like model MARISA MILLER it’s no wonder the Cubs are favorites to win the NL Central this season! Less than two weeks before being named No. 1 in Maxim magazine’s ‘Hot 100’ poll for 2008, the Perfect 10 model was near perfect throwing her curves to right-hander Ryan Dempster on 4/18/08…and then threw herself into his arms! “I think it’s safe to say that anyone else who plans on tossing out a first pitch at Wrigley Field can just call the dogs off,” sighed SB Nation’s Will Brinson. “They’re not topping the Cubbies’ latest pull, one SportsIllustrated swimsuit model (and my personal favorite), Marisa Miller. “First, Marisa has a freaking gas can” for an arm. “Secondly, are she and Ryan Dempster dating?” All we can say is he started 10-0 at home that year!

Since Kansas City is the reigning World Series champ, it’s only proper that we next present Royal righty HAYLEY ATWELL, the busty Brit who surprisingly “spent my summers” in KC where her Native American dad lived! “I’m a Missouri girl at heart,” she tweeted last May, “but if I have to choose one team, it’s the Royals” (sorry St. Louis). It was in the ‘Cards’ for Hayley to hurl the ceremonial first pitch before her team lost to the Indians 2-1 on June 3 of their championship season. As Entertainment Weekly reported: “In addition to throwing a strike (‘Well, I didn’t mess it up,’ she wrote on Twitter), Atwell took photos on the field before the game with Royals players and the team’s mascot [they should have made hertheirs]. She even balanced a ball on her head” {wasn’t that Peyton Manning?}. But one thing she wouldn’t do is strip: “No nude scenes for me,” she told the UK Daily Mail after snagging the titular role in Marvel’s Agent Carter. “It often involves me just going: ‘I don’t think she would be naked in this scene.’ There’s no need for that,’” she tells insistent directors, “‘and I’m not doing it just to fulfill your weird little fantasy.’” She fulfilled ours when her lover unleashed her 36DDs in the 2010 miniseries The Pillars of the Earth.

Much to the chagrin of Sleuth’s New York lawyer, Hayley’s Royals whipped the Mets in October’s World Series. The National Leaguer’s vaunted rotation gave up 27 runs in 5 games, so manic Mets fan JULIA STILES might have distracted the KC club with her braless breaking balls. “Does Julia Stiles ever wear a bra?” was a trending topic on Yahoo! Answers…with the leading response being: “She has a modest A-cup bust and does not really need a brassiere.” She does support her hometown heroes, however, noting that their “underdog quality is why I’m a Mets fan to begin with”—even waiting out a 39-minute rain delay to toss the first pitch on 5/29/06 {the wet weather making her top cling to her things}. And those ‘things’ aren’t about to change: “I’ve walked into my dressing room and had a desk full of fake boobs [falsies] that the producers have put there because they want me to have bigger breasts. That’s pretty blatant. I’m not stupid,” says the Columbia grad. “I know what that means. But I did not and will not wear them.” And she’ll never not be hooked on the Mets: “For me, it’s almost like taking a Valium.” Maybe those jagged little pills are what she’s smuggling in her shirt (which she pointedly penned for yours truly).

When JULIANNE HOUGH was asked to throw out the ceremonial first pitch for the Los Angeles Dodgers on May 1, 2013 she shared the honor with her grandpa Bob—whose son Charlie Hough pitched for the team for 7 years (memorably giving up Reggie Jackson’s titanic third homer in the 1977 World Series) and won 216 games in the majors—the same as Curt Schilling! Known for his “dancing knuckler,” Hough’s niece became a two-time champion on Dancing with the Stars…and no doubt throws a mean “mirror ball.” Ironically, a curve ball has long been known as the dreaded “Uncle Charlie,” and our modest Mormon threw everyone a curve when she let a nip slip at the DWTS after-party in May 2015: “Julianne Hough Has the World’s Smallest Nipples,” snarked The Superficial, but it was big news that produced more than a few ‘spews’!

Like Julianne, John Legend’s luscious wife CHRISSY TEIGEN was born in Utah…and both have been tapped to throw out the first ball at a Dodgers game: “Crap, I’m pretty drunk!” Teigen tweeted before warming up for the toss on 8/5/14. And it was sobering when she smacked a solid line drive off ace Jennie Fitch at the 2012 All-Star Celebrity Softball Game (above left)—only to have it snatched by ‘The Wizard,’ Ozzie Smith. Yet long before taking the mound it seems young Chrissy showed hers in the early frontal photoshoot above right!

Former (fired) Desperate Housewives hottie NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN’s “biological father has never been identified,” but she “considers her model mom Sally Adams’ ex-lover Telly {Kojak} Savalas “to be her father.” Dad would have been proud when she showed perfect pitching form on 7/28/08 to promote her 3-D film Fly Me to the Moon (hers is perfect too). When O.J. Simpson bedded blonde beauty Nicole Brown, his running-back best buddy got a Nicolette of his own: Sheridan “was hooking up with Marcus Allen, whose, uh, ‘member’ was so large that, well, Our Girl Nic had to invite people to witness it.” Once she went black, as they say…she bared her back to Mario Van Peebles in 1999’s raunchy Raw Nerve: “Nicolette Sheridan is standing in front of a mirror nude,” details the Celebrity Movie Archive, as Mario “kisses her stomach and removes her panties to go down on her.” Who loves ya, baby?!

One sexy celeb who can really play ball is REESE WITHERSPOON, who spent four months doing drills with the UCLA women’s team (above left) for her role as a softball star in the 2011 film How Do You Know. “The sessions were about 90 minutes apiece,” recalled Bruins manager Sue Enquist—who’s led them to 10 national titles. “I wanted her to be a middle infielder, because then size wouldn’t be as much of an issue.” Adds the aforementioned pitching legend Jennie Fitch, who also trained Reese: “It was awesome seeing her take the whole thing on. She could totally handle her business.” Not always: claiming 2014’s Wild marked her “first nude scenes”—conveniently forgetting 1998’s Twilight headlights (above right)—the Stanford stunner stated: “I really didn’t want to do the sex scenes. It was hard.” As were the audience members that got to ogle Reese’s pieces!

We’re now in our ninth inning, so who better to embody a love of baseball than ALYSSA MILANO? As Deadspin declared back in 7/07, “Who’s the Next MLB Player to Bang Alyssa Milano? Now in her 30s, she’s become the real-life Annie Savoy [Susan Sarandon’s groping groupie in Bull Durham], using her lady cave to assemble what would have been one of the more dominating baseball staffs in…2003: Brad Penny, Barry Zito and Carl Pavano [she bedded the trio in rotation between ’03 and ’05]. It’s true,” the sports site summarized. “Alyssa Milano’s vagina’s 2003 WHIP would have been 1.24.” She also had catcher Russell Martin as a battery mate, but though this lengthy lineup ‘hit a home run’ with the former child star, Alyssa was never ‘The Boss’ when it came to batting (above left). She scored with the bestselling book Safe at Home: The Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic in 2009 and recently had this to say about this time of the year: “The buds will bloom. The gates will open. The frogs will chirp. The bats will crack. The birds will fly. The balls will soar.” Especially when double Milano’s out of uniform (above right).

Guess it’s Garth’s turn to be ‘up’…and we hope you’ll second Wayne’s world view. After all, hope springs eternal in February, but we’d hate to wind up this season in the basement.