{Click on Any Image to View It Full Size in a New Window}
Sweet Shelley Duvall didn’t hold a grudge when her Time Bandits director “hurt my head” during a film stunt and perhaps stole her future. Instead, the injured actress became Terry Gilliam’s girlfriend, as he tried to kiss the pain (in the neck) away.
And just how did she manage to keep her notoriously moody and manic man so happy? (bottom left). Like their $42 million international hit film, by opening wide.
Which might well have been her sensual secret: “At times she throws a glance of such sexual awareness,” Cosmo paid lip service, “that to step into it would be like walking into a mine field.” Well blow me down!
And speaking of sucking big things, Shelley suffered another film setback when those maladies forced her to abandon a book property she’d bought the rights to, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues … made instead with the equally gawky, but far more buxom, Uma Thurman. Thumb things just ain’t fair …
Though, in fairness, her protruding prowess caught the eye of the Internet: “I know it’s weird, but I like her teeth,” Justa_TXguy commented on a forum topic asking whether or not ‘she is fuckable.’ To which a member called Thought Crime replied, “She could drag those teeth over my cock, but that’s it.”
It Don’t Come Easy to Beatle drummer Ringo Starr … but he enjoyed many A Hard Day’s Night {he came up with the title} between the sheets with Shelley when they hooked up throughout 1978-79. Alas, All I’ve Got is a Photograph.
“To make Madonna-esque music happen,” read one review in Spin magazine, “a vocalist must sound like he/she wants to get laid, just got laid or is in the process of getting laid. Gilroy just sounds laid back.”
Dapper Dan laid back with smitten Shelley until 1991 … when he wrote the screenplay for sci-fi film Freejack—and dumped his dame to wed its female lead, ravishing Rene Russo.
This August, Gilroy got back at his earlier girlfriend—releasing “private bedroom tapes of the Material Girl before she was famous,” reported the Daily Mail, including “deeply personal letters, photographs and intimate recordings Madonna made in the boudoir.”
Perhaps the disturbed Duvall has taken one too many on the chin from her loads of lovers … yet has never released details {or tapes!} of her long-rumored romances with The Shining mate Jack Nicholson—or his best bud, record producer Lou Adler, the stud who’s taken to bed Michelle Phillips and Brit Ekland … and wed Shelley Fabares and, currently, Page Hannah {sister of Daryl}.
And yep, Adler’s the greybeard who’s always seen sitting courtside next to Nicholson at L.A. Laker games.
So our gal Shell must really have had something … even if she’s losing it: Telling Dr. Phil McGraw about the time an assistant interrupted her in Jack’s trailer on the Shining set, Duvall declared with disgust, “No, we weren’t having sex. No, we were about to have sex!”
Though she did, it seems, from an early age: “An older guy that works for my company claims to have bangedher in high school {Waltrip High in Houston, below left},” a Texan named Billy the Poet posted in a 2014 forum.
“Said she wasn’t much to brag about and he was really shocked to find that she became an actress.”
An actress who ‘put out’ in all her early movies—especially as a runaway groupie in Nashville (1975) who is pointedly braless …
… and transparently flawless (from behind).
Butt no longer: in a 2009 National Enquirer story, Duvall declared that “there are aliens living in my body” …
... and that a hole in her backyard in tiny Blanco, Texas (pop. 1500) is “a portal into another dimension. That’s where the aliens are coming in.” She’s always appeared to operate on a different wave length …
Shelley’s latest turban legend, solemnly stated to Dr. Phil on Friday, is that “I’ve got a whirring disc up my fucking pussy.”
She then adds that she “hurt my vagina. That happened when I was on a Vogue magazine shoot in 1970.”
“I hurt,” Shell says quietly, “between the legs.” Perhaps, to quote Madonna, from having to ‘strike a pose’ for Vogue.
“I was a pretty girl—I was beautiful,” she lamented during the cringe-worthy conversation with Phil. “This {her look now} is grotesque to me.”
When the TV shrink suggests she go to a California clinic for evaluation, the Shining star shoots back: “Is this going to be a murder? Are you going to murder me?” Like in the film, she’s got it backwards (“redrum”). Note the same facial features above and below right!
And then Duvall defensively declares, “I’m not in need of psychiatric help just because I smoke cigarettes.” She got hooked having to smoke for an early film role (below right).
In one of her last lead roles, nearly 20 years ago in Twilight of the Ice Nymphs, the actress asks another medical man: “Doctor Solti, I’m not shy {pulling down her gown}. Do you find my breasts beautiful?”
Not so today—when Dr. Phil reiterates that he’d “like to get you checked out,” Shelley says with all seriousness: “I’d like to get my breasts checks out—there’s this dropped breast thing {perhaps she means pendulous} that Italian men like. I guess everybody likes it. It’s the difference between Sophia Loren and … {she pauses and smiles} Shelley Duvall.”
Her slim medical profile contains only a single nude scene …
… from 42 years ago in Thieves Like Us. “She is getting out of the bath nude,” narrates the Celebrity Nude Database, “and we see a side view naked.”
“You might be able to see everything.”
Confirms the competing Celebrity Movie Archive: “Shelley Duvall of Brewster McCloud fame is standing up completely nude, showing her breasts and bush from the side while stepping out of an old-fashioned bathtub.”
“She then towels off …
“… and we get a nice view of her butt …
“… as she walks across the room …
“ … to join her unlawful lover Keith Carradine.”
And what does Popeye’s faithful but ill-fated Olive Oyl tell her frightened felon to re•ass•ure him?
“It’ll be alright. Everything’s gonna be all right in THE END.
For Shelley's sake, we can only hope so ...
